To be honest, I didn't expect much from this weekend. After all, it didn't get off to a very good start. I learned a few weeks ago that a friend of mine, Leah, who is only thirty years old, has breast cancer. I learned this past Thursday that the cancer is stage four and that it is terminal. The doctors give her a couple months to two years to live. My friend Tisha and I have set up an online care calendar for people to sign up to bring Leah and her family meals and I have offered to watch Tisha's four kids, who are all homeschooled, while she takes Leah to her bi-weekly chemo treatments. We feel it is the least we can do to help her family during this time. I've been praying, or trying to pray, but I admittedly feel spiritually dry. I have so many questions and lately I haven't even known how to pray (sounds silly, I know). And, by the way, I promise there will be a point to all this at the end of the post.
So as you can see, my mood was less than chipper. That same Thursday I learned that my son has strep - he's on antibiotics and is okay, but we've had to endure several days of whining, screaming fits and crying. Those are things anyone can expect from a two year old every now and then, but when it's constant you feel as if you're going to loose your nerve at any moment. And at the same time, I feel for the little guy because I know he doesn't feel good. So there's a mixture of stress and love and compassion that comes with dealing with a sick child.
Despite all of this, Friday night turned out to be good. Court was in the mood to go to Fry's electronics so we took a little drive with the kids. No whining in the store, thank God! We treated the kids to dinner at McDonald's, their favorite place, and ended our little excursion with a visit to Wal-Mart. I realize that may not impress anyone, but we all had a nice time just being together. The best part of the evening was when Court said that he is still in love with me. We're not one of those touchy-feely couples so it's totally genuine when we say things like that. He warmed my heart. I realized that God had answered a prayer that I prayed about a year ago - that Court and I would still be in love throughout our marraige.
My friend Cobie and her daughter, Graycen, came over Saturday morning. We took the girls to Sugarbabys, the same cupcake boutique that Allison's shower was hosted at. It was nice to have some girl time. Court had to work all day Saturday, so Cobie and Graycen hung out with us at the house for a while - Ella and I both enjoyed the company. Christian was in a very bad mood and still not feeling well so he took a nap while we visited - which was short lived because he woke up as soon as they left. I did manage to get him back to bed (after an hour of him crying) so that Ella and I could take a nap. I realize now that was a blessing straight from God!
Sunday morning was hectic, as Sunday mornings usually are. It got off to a great start - and then Christian saw me as he was sitting in his highchair and it all went downhill from there. He screamed if I wasn't holding him. It's awfully hard to put on your clothes and shoes and pack a diaper bag while holding a two year old, so I had to put him down and listen to the screaming. I don't know why but it was mentally draining. Both Court and I were stressed out by the time we got the kids buckled in the car. And we were late to church, as usual. That wouldn't be such a big deal, but Cobie and I are now teaching the three year old Sunday School Class every Sunday at 8:45 AM. Did I mention that there are 18 kids in our class and only two of us?! It's a joy to be with those kids but we are still glad when it's over!
Ella wanted to have lunch at Oma's so we went over to my parent's house for burgers and football. My mom and I are in wedding mode since my sister is now officially engaged, so we can't stop talking about wedding ideas. We took a trip to Michael's while my dad and Court watched the kids. It was a nice break, yes, but not quite long enough :o)
We were all ready to go home around six o'clock and I was on a mission to get the kids in bed. So of course I was met with much opposition. Christian didn't want to eat dinner and cried through his bath but he was happy to get to bed (believe it or not). The only problem was that he start screaming every fifteen to twenty minutes and I had to go in and hold him to calm him down and tuck him back in. Ella said she was tired but she did her usual thing of getting up and saying she was scared, or that she didn't want to be in her bed. I thought the kids would never go to bed.
But a sweet thing happened - my husband. He helped me get the kids settled down and was patient with me and my bad attitude. After the kids were down, we went outside to enjoy the fire in the chiminea. We had a nice talk, enjoyed the outdoors and the comfort of the fire. We then decided to watch "Dan in Real Life" together. I don't know if it was the theme of the movie or just pure revelation, but after it was over I saw a sweetness in my life that I have been too busy to notice lately. Real life is a mixture of joy, sorrow, happiness, stress, anxiety, bliss...the list goes on. I am not perfect, my kids are not perfect, my marraige isn't perfect but my sweet little family is a gift from God. A gift too wonderful for me to deserve. I love my husband and my children with all my heart. And I saw God's grace in the way He so sweetly revealed his hand in my life. I felt so apathetic and far away from Him yet He showed me his love through the sweet way my husband treated me this weekend - and Court probably doesn't even know it! God chose to let me know that He's still there and that He still listens to my prayers. Court showed me the love of Christ by loving me even when I'm not so lovable.
Somehow I think this week will be better than the last. Not because of circumstances, but because I know God still loves me and that He still hears me when I call.
So as you can see, my mood was less than chipper. That same Thursday I learned that my son has strep - he's on antibiotics and is okay, but we've had to endure several days of whining, screaming fits and crying. Those are things anyone can expect from a two year old every now and then, but when it's constant you feel as if you're going to loose your nerve at any moment. And at the same time, I feel for the little guy because I know he doesn't feel good. So there's a mixture of stress and love and compassion that comes with dealing with a sick child.
Despite all of this, Friday night turned out to be good. Court was in the mood to go to Fry's electronics so we took a little drive with the kids. No whining in the store, thank God! We treated the kids to dinner at McDonald's, their favorite place, and ended our little excursion with a visit to Wal-Mart. I realize that may not impress anyone, but we all had a nice time just being together. The best part of the evening was when Court said that he is still in love with me. We're not one of those touchy-feely couples so it's totally genuine when we say things like that. He warmed my heart. I realized that God had answered a prayer that I prayed about a year ago - that Court and I would still be in love throughout our marraige.
My friend Cobie and her daughter, Graycen, came over Saturday morning. We took the girls to Sugarbabys, the same cupcake boutique that Allison's shower was hosted at. It was nice to have some girl time. Court had to work all day Saturday, so Cobie and Graycen hung out with us at the house for a while - Ella and I both enjoyed the company. Christian was in a very bad mood and still not feeling well so he took a nap while we visited - which was short lived because he woke up as soon as they left. I did manage to get him back to bed (after an hour of him crying) so that Ella and I could take a nap. I realize now that was a blessing straight from God!
Sunday morning was hectic, as Sunday mornings usually are. It got off to a great start - and then Christian saw me as he was sitting in his highchair and it all went downhill from there. He screamed if I wasn't holding him. It's awfully hard to put on your clothes and shoes and pack a diaper bag while holding a two year old, so I had to put him down and listen to the screaming. I don't know why but it was mentally draining. Both Court and I were stressed out by the time we got the kids buckled in the car. And we were late to church, as usual. That wouldn't be such a big deal, but Cobie and I are now teaching the three year old Sunday School Class every Sunday at 8:45 AM. Did I mention that there are 18 kids in our class and only two of us?! It's a joy to be with those kids but we are still glad when it's over!
Ella wanted to have lunch at Oma's so we went over to my parent's house for burgers and football. My mom and I are in wedding mode since my sister is now officially engaged, so we can't stop talking about wedding ideas. We took a trip to Michael's while my dad and Court watched the kids. It was a nice break, yes, but not quite long enough :o)
We were all ready to go home around six o'clock and I was on a mission to get the kids in bed. So of course I was met with much opposition. Christian didn't want to eat dinner and cried through his bath but he was happy to get to bed (believe it or not). The only problem was that he start screaming every fifteen to twenty minutes and I had to go in and hold him to calm him down and tuck him back in. Ella said she was tired but she did her usual thing of getting up and saying she was scared, or that she didn't want to be in her bed. I thought the kids would never go to bed.
But a sweet thing happened - my husband. He helped me get the kids settled down and was patient with me and my bad attitude. After the kids were down, we went outside to enjoy the fire in the chiminea. We had a nice talk, enjoyed the outdoors and the comfort of the fire. We then decided to watch "Dan in Real Life" together. I don't know if it was the theme of the movie or just pure revelation, but after it was over I saw a sweetness in my life that I have been too busy to notice lately. Real life is a mixture of joy, sorrow, happiness, stress, anxiety, bliss...the list goes on. I am not perfect, my kids are not perfect, my marraige isn't perfect but my sweet little family is a gift from God. A gift too wonderful for me to deserve. I love my husband and my children with all my heart. And I saw God's grace in the way He so sweetly revealed his hand in my life. I felt so apathetic and far away from Him yet He showed me his love through the sweet way my husband treated me this weekend - and Court probably doesn't even know it! God chose to let me know that He's still there and that He still listens to my prayers. Court showed me the love of Christ by loving me even when I'm not so lovable.
Somehow I think this week will be better than the last. Not because of circumstances, but because I know God still loves me and that He still hears me when I call.
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